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Longing for someone
April 14th, 2009 by Anju
“Til now, I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you -
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone?”
“Alone” by Heart
Such a powerful emotion, desire. It may be one of the strongest motivators, whether it’s a desire for love, for money, for safety, or any other possibility. And isn’t it odd how that strong emotion often fades once you get what you desired? I know a number of people who end up moving from relationship to relationship, because the comfort of a relationship just isn’t as interesting, as powerful, as that emotion when you desire someone new.
However, others remain in relationships for years, decades (no, really, I actually still know people who’ve been married for their WHOLE adult lives!!!). While each relationship has it’s own set of ground rules, it seems the ability to continue to desire the person you’re married to is a typical factor for staying in a relationship. That desire often remains so long as both partners continue to appreciate the unique attributes of their spouse. Once I take you for granted, I no longer desire you.
I’ve said this before, but I think it bears repeating: It’s so important to keep excited about your relationship if it’s important to you. If you don’t maintain it, it’ll not be there one day.
“What about Love?
Don’t let it slip away!”
“What About Love?” by Heart
Apr 17 at 10:46
Wow, people who are still married all their adult lives, a rarity. What once were unique attributes become a “pain in the neck” and suddenly everyone else is desirable. A lesson I learned to deal with such relapses is to imagine life without my wife and her idiosyncrasies and then imagine what life would be with my co-worker. Here the truth prevails I don’t want to start this journey of “ups & downs” with someone new. No thankyou…..
Apr 27 at 06:26
Hi Doc BW,
Would love to know are women more emotional and likely to fall in love and let their head guide and men more rational, heady but think about consequences?
I’m in a relationship, was all ok until I met a man I feel very physically bond too. Worried he will turn around after a few weeks or months to his fiance.
Apr 30 at 23:24
Thank you for the comments, and for reading the blog! Caroline, I’ll bet, if you read your post as though you were reading it from someone else, you might see it differently. I think men and women both can jump into relationships based on emotions. However, it seems you have a crush/lust for someone who’s committed to someone else (as a fiance). While I don’t know details, this doesn’t sound like a strong start to a happy end. If you are looking for something long term, I doubt this new guy is where you’ll find it. Sorry, but ask yourself: What if it does work, and you later are engaged to him. Will you be able to trust him?
May 04 at 19:33
Hi Doc,
You’re right “will I be able to trust him?” thank you for your candid review.
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